nothing wrong with anything you've said, RG, especially regarding the candidness with your wife. Some people are just connected in ways that have no definition
The last girl I had a crush on is now gone. Found out that she was getting married. I liked her a lot and even got a hug when she left. Such is life.
in fact, it's been nine years since I've dated. Obviously my work has made me jaded. I generally hide out when I'm not doing something work-related. I sometimes wish I had a person to show some sort of affinity, but I should have figured I was gonna be a loner ever since I was a kid.
Such is life indeed. Your story is quite touching too, I can definitely relate.
Hope you find someone to share your time with. You seem reasonably content with your lonerism (trademark Tame Impala), but keep your eyes and ears open and a compatible soul will eventually come around. I found mine fairly late in life, and prior to that I never made much effort to date anyone, and spent most of my time alone at home. But somehow it happened, and I knew the time was right.
I'm so appreciative of you and PG giving me understanding feedback too. It probably appears that I have it all under control, and I think I do now, but it's been months of confusion and uncertainty getting to this point. I just couldn't stop thinking about it and I was really afraid for a while that I would do something embarrassing at best, or life-ruining at worst. It took a lot of soul searching to really get to the bottom of what I really wanted out of this. But at the beginning I really thought I might be falling in love or something. But it wasn't, it was just a very strong and definite need to make a connection. And we have, sorta. Just a small handful of really nice personal conversations, but overwhelmed volume-wise by daily work-related communication. She's really professional and stays 99% focused on work most of the time; starts early in the day and keeps on going til the evening hours. One of the things I like about her, in fact. She must be nuts.